Episode 2: Doula Support: How It Works and How to Find the Right Fit
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🎙 Welcome back to The Birth Generation Podcast! In today’s episode, “Doula Support: How It Works and How to Find the Right Fit,” we pulls back the curtain on one of the most game-changing resources for pregnancy, birth, and those foggy postpartum days: the doula.
Whether you’ve heard the term tossed around on Instagram or you’re already deep-diving doula directories, this conversation will help you figure out exactly what a doula does, why their presence can totally upgrade your birth experience, and—most importantly—how to choose one that feels like your personal hype-woman (or hype-guy).
In this episode, you’ll learn:
What a doula actually is (spoiler: they’re non-medical, but 100 % magic for your mindset and comfort)
Key differences between birth doulas and postpartum doulas—and why you might want one or both
How a birth doula supports you and your partner with hands-on comfort, evidence-based info, and serious calm-energy vibes
How postpartum doulas smooth the fourth-trimester chaos with practical help, emotional check-ins, and newborn know-how
Evidence-backed benefits (think: shorter labors, fewer interventions, happier parents)
Smart places to search—from local word-of-mouth to national directories and community programs
Must-ask interview questions so you can vibe-check before you write the deposit check
Green flags (and red ones) for fit—because trust, safety, and feeling seen are non-negotiable
✨ Ready to feel fully supported on your birth journey?
Grab my free Birth Basics Kickstart mini course and start prepping with confidence—no fluff, no judgment, just the essentials that busy parents need.Hit play, take notes, and let’s find the doula who’s going to cheer you on from first contraction to first cuddle. 💛
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Hello. I am so happy you're here. We are going to talk today all about doula support. We're going to talk about how it works, how to find the right fit, and if a doula is right for you. But before we get into all of that, here's my little life update. We are planning to have my sister come into town for three weeks. She has two little boys. I have two little boys, and the house always gets really chaotic, really fun. And we just love having the cousins together. I saw a reel the other day talking about how your cousin relationship is like the best friend sibling combination that we did not know we needed. It carries on into adulthood, and it is this weird and beautiful and wonderful relationship, and it is awesome to see our kids have that because we have my sister and I have lots of cousins, and we had the best time with them. So a three week cousin sleepover with four little boys is in my future. I am equally excited and a little bit stressed about the chaos. But anyway, let's go ahead and get into this week's podcast episode.
What is a doula, really? Though? What like? What is a doula? One of the questions people ask me a lot is, so you're like a midwife? No, actually, I am not a midwife. And here's the difference, a midwife performs clinical tasks, they offer medical advice, they diagnose, they run tests, they manage the medical and clinical side of your pregnancy and of your birth, and they actually also do well women care, which is awesome. Now I am a birth doula. A birth doula is a continuous care provider that doesn't do anything clinical or medical, okay, but we offer emotional, physical and informational support during pregnancy, labor, birth and postpartum. There actually are other types of doulas that work with fertility and even bereavement, but in this episode, I'm gonna stick mostly to birth doula and postpartum. Think of a doula as your birth bestie, your birth coach, really a support person that is going to offer you comfort measures, a grounding, presence, lots and lots of information and advocacy during your pregnancy and your birthday. Now, let's talk a little bit about birth doulas. Let's talk about what they do. Let's talk about what they don't do, and all things surrounding birth doula. There are so many different styles and niches of doula. You can have doulas that are really crunchy and holistic, and want to offer you a really natural approach to pregnancy and birth, and that might be in great alignment with you. There are other doulas that are really nurturing and motherly and maternal, and they can offer support. Through that lens, there are doulas that only support home birth or only support hospital birth. So I just want to start by saying it's really important if you do want to hire a doula, go ahead and interview several of them. It is very normal to do that there. I can't imagine there is a doula on this planet that would be upset that you interviewed multiple doulas, because we really, at the end of the day, I can't speak for everyone, but I can speak for most of us, that we want you to feel supported in your birth, and if we're not the right person for you, that's not going to work out, you're not going to feel supported. So let's start with just saying, if you do want a doula, go ahead and interview multiple of them. Now, a doula does prepare you and your partner for birth. Some of them offer childbirth education. Some of them do not, but usually there's a couple prenatal appointments, 123, prenatal appointments that you will at least go over what you want for your birth experience, where you and your doula can kind of get to know each other. You'll get to know her style. You have a good conversation to prepare you for your birth with those prenatal appointments. That is the informational support she's going to offer you. She's also going to offer you any answers to questions like, What is this test? What is this procedure? Can you give me the evidence on this particular intervention? She's going to be able to be a treasure trove of information for you for all those weird, nitty gritty questions. But remember, a doula does not offer you medical advice,
so she can't say, oh, let's say you have really high blood pressure. Her, it's not her job to diagnose what could be wrong with you or even offer suggestions on what to do about it. She can do that, but you should always go through your healthcare provider for those medical type questions. Now that is the informational support. Another really cool thing that doulas do is offer physical support. This looks like a lot of different things, and this is physical support for both you and your partner. By the way, this can look like actual hands on physical support, like counter pressure, massage, acupuncture or acupressure, not acupuncture, some of them, maybe they do acupuncture, acupressure is what I'm talking about, which is massaging pressure points to help support certain bodily functions, areas of your body, symptoms, that kind of thing. Physical support can also look like looking at your labor and knowing kind of what might be happening with your baby, and offering some suggestions for positioning to support the labor and help make sure the baby can navigate its way through the pelvis nice and easily. Physical support can also look like just being with you, making you feel cared for throughout the entire experience in both pregnancy and in birth. Physical support can look like getting your partner lunch and a coffee. Physical support can look like making sure that your mom is communicated with during the birth experience, or standing at the door and making sure that no one that you don't want to be there comes in that kind of thing. So we have informational, we have physical, and then the last is the emotional support. This is a big one, and truly, I find the emotional support even more important in pregnancy than it is in birth. Pregnancy comes with a lot of mental strain on a mother and a partner, and so having someone that you can reach out to and complain or vent or get validation from is so helpful. It can really, really, really help emotional support and labor can look like encouragement, can look like affirmations, and also can look like telling your partner to clue in on something that you might need if it doesn't fall in one of those three support pillars, your doula probably does not do it like clinical tasks, cervical exams, that kind of thing. And one important thing to remember, most birth doulas are not going to make decisions for you or speak for you. They're going to teach you how to do that for yourself and teach your partner how to do that. Now I'm surely if there is an urgent situation where there's obstetric violence or some other crazy thing, your doula is going to speak up. She's going to help you, but for the most part, I would say that doulas really want you to feel empowered, you to feel informed, you to be the one making decisions on the day of that might be an important question to bring up in your consultation with your potential doula in the interview. The question could look like, how do you advocate for me? And she might be able to offer you an example or a scenario in which advocating for you might be necessary, and you guys can figure out what you're comfortable with. So that's a birth doula. A birth doula will typically leave your birth around two hours after your baby's been born, that immediate postpartum time, and maybe come for a quick follow up visit after your baby's been born at your house, but she doesn't do the work of a postpartum doula. Postpartum doulas can really be broken down into two categories, daytime and nighttime. Postpartum doulas really help with the transition from being pregnant to now having a new baby. They also offer the same type of support, the emotional, the physical and the informational. So let's break it down a little bit emotional. They are really, really, really good at helping you break down your birth experience and helping you digest it, if it was traumatic, if it was joyful, helping you move past that, because it really is such a profound moment, and sometimes it can be really hard to unlock and understand it. She's also gonna hear you cry and validate your feelings and your hard time, that if you're having one, she is also going to be checking in on your mental health. As we know, postpartum comes with some mental health challenges. Some people develop Postpartum Mood disorders like postpartum anxiety or postpartum depression. A postpartum doula is going to help you. Diagnose that if needed, stave it off, if possible, and overall, look out for your mental well being. Now, physical support of a postpartum doula is really helpful too. This looks different depending if you have a day or a night doula, a daytime postpartum doula is gonna show up at your house and she's going to maintain your household, really. She's going to help you with dishes and laundry. She's not going to do a deep cleaning your house like she's not going to go scrub your toilets, but she's going to make sure that your house doesn't fall into disrepair while you were trying to care for your that is another thing she does. She helps care for your newborn. She can diaper, she can swaddle, she can soothe, she can support your feeding however you plan to feed your baby. A lot of postpartum doulas have some pretty good breastfeeding knowledge, and if they don't, I'm sure they have that information to give you for a local lactation consultant that's going into the informational territory. But back to the physical, she is going to be able to be a set of hands for you. Another really cool thing is, if you have older children, your postpartum doula is going to help you take care of your older kid. I love that. It's sometimes called a sibling doula. Now, if you're hiring a night doula, the responsibilities look a little bit different. She shows up at your house later, like eight or 9pm and she helps you with the baby at night so you can sleep. If you're breastfeeding or even formula feeding, chances are your baby has to wake up every few hours. And if you're breastfeeding, she will take the baby to you to feed. You'll feed the baby, and then she will take it out of the room and diaper it, swaddle the baby, soothe the baby, and help the baby get back to sleep. So at night, you can spend as much time as possible sleeping. It is a very supportive provider. A lot of times a night, doula won't clean up your house because she's not trying to make a bunch of noise. But if you have bottles that need to be washed or things that she can do when it's nighttime, she will probably do that too, and she might do a fair bit of sleeping. So don't that's normal. So that informational support, they're going to offer you recommendations for any kind of bodywork the baby needs, like chiropractor or cranial sacral therapy. There, they might offer you information about breastfeeding or feeding in general, or milestones, or developmental milestones, or newborn care, things, things to look out for. They're going to be a wealth of knowledge and resources for all things newborn, which is also extreme. And of course, if you're hiring a postpartum doula, just ask for what you need. If it looks like the doula running around cleaning your house while you care for baby, that's great. Or if it looks like the doula caring for your baby while you take a nap, that's great, too. So why on earth would we hire a doula? Why does this matter? And let me tell you, it is actually backed by science, especially with birth, that outcomes overall are better. Studies show that doulas are linked to shorter labors, lower rates of interventions, including the big C section, and overall, moms report that with a continuous care provider, AKA a doula, their experience in birth was more positive than those that did not have a continuous care provider. Another really cool thing about doulas is they can help the partner feel more confident and more involved in the process. One really interesting thing is, I hear a lot of my clients are worried about their partner. They're worried that they're going to have to take care of their partner in labor, which is just crazy. I'm sure so many partners roll their eyes at that and think, girl, you don't. You don't need to help me. But really they do. They feel like they need to. So let your doula do that. Let your doula prepare your partner. Let your doula do the looking out for your partner. So you don't have to. Most of people giving birth have a maternal instinct, I would say, and maternal instinct extends beyond the children it can send. It can extend to your partners. So let's say at this point you're like, all right, girl, I am convinced I am ready to have a doula. I want to hire a doula. How do I do so? There are a few ways to find a doula. First is word of mouth. This is probably my top way of finding clients. Clients come to me through their friends, their coworkers, their provider, their doctor, their midwife. Word of mouth is a great way to do that. If you don't have any friends that have had a doula, I would recommend joining a local moms group on Facebook. If you are on Facebook and just asking in there who had a doula for their birth, what was your experience like and reaching. Out to that doula and seeing if they're a good fit for you. You can also try social media. Doulas are regional, because they are in person, so you can type in whatever your area is, doulas, and you might find some options that way. I definitely get a lot of people finding me through Instagram because of certain hashtags I've used or events that I've joined locally. This is also a great way to kind of just get the vibe check if their Instagram is the right vibe for you. You can, kind of, you know, pre interview them, before the real interview, and decide whether or not it's even worth your time. There are also a few doula online directories like doula, match.net, is my personal favorite. They it's pretty established, and the way that the search pops up is by availability. So the doula will go and update her availability, and if they're available, then her profile is going to show up. Now something to consider when hiring a doula is obviously the cost. Hiring a doula is not cheap, but if you think about it, you have a person that is going to be on call for you and staying up late for you and doing a very one on one personalized service. So it makes sense about the cost, but I get it, it's expensive, and I wish it was less cost prohibitive. Some states you can use health insurance or an HSA. In some states, that is not a thing. There is no insurance for doulas, but some companies pay for doula support through some a lot of companies offer, like a medical benefit. You can use that money for a doula. Some doulas offer a sliding scale or a scholarship. So if you really feel like you need a doula, try to find one that offers a sliding scale based on your income, or see if you can apply for a scholarship. And when I say scholarship, basically, there are some doulas who choose certain people to offer their services for free. But overall, know that the investment in a doula is never a bad idea, especially if you are a highly anxious person, or if you've had a previous traumatic birth, it can really, really, really make all the difference in you. Okay, if we are going to interview a doula, I'm going to tell you just a few questions that you may want to bring up in your interview. A big one is, What's your philosophy on birth or postpartum, right? Depending if you're interviewing a birth or a postpartum doula. Are they unmedicated only? Are they don't care what you want as long as you're happy. What where do they land on that spectrum, and how does it align with your beliefs around birth? Do they have any specifics on how they support both you and your partner? What comfort measures do they offer? Is there any kind of special thing? What is their what's their specialty? Every doula has something special about them, and what is it for them? This is kind of an important question. What kind of birth Have you supported if you're planning a home birth, and your doula pretty much only works in hospitals that might not be in alignment. I don't know. I don't I don't know that doula, but same the other way around. If the doula is used to and comfortable with home birth, then you might not want to hire her for your hospital. Another question to ask is, how many clients do you take a month? And what does your availability look like around my due date. If the doula only takes, you know, 123, clients a month, chances are pretty high she's going to make it to your birth. If they take
10 clients in one month, there is a really high chance she's going to need to call in a backup. And if you're okay with that, ask about the backup. Who's her backup doula? Do you get to meet them? What does that process look like? That's a really important question to ask. And last, what's included in the fee? As I said before, all doulas have their own specialty. So what makes this doula special? Is there prenatal visits? Is there any kind of extra massage package? Is there a postpartum visit? What is the what is the on call period look like? So how do you know if it's a good fit for you? How do you know if this doula is right for you? Well, the first thing is, are they passing the vibe check? Are you comfortable around them? That is easily the most important thing to consider. Let's say you've interviewed two doulas, and they both. They both seem pretty great. You know, you're both getting a good vibe. How do we narrow it down? Well, one, do you feel like they're gonna honor your preferences and not push their own agenda or their own opinion? That's kind of a big one. Some doulas feel very strongly about one certain type of thing. Thing, and if you feel either indifferent to it or opposite of it, that's that's not going to work. You can ask yourself, Am I comfortable with laughing, crying and venting to them, both me and my partner? Because I've seen a lot of dads cry, and the dad also has to be comfortable being themselves around the doula, and then the end of the day, really just go with your gut, who has the right experience, who has the right vibe for you and your family, and just a few final words of encouragement here, doula support is about feeling held emotionally, physically, mentally. The right doula isn't going to just show up at your birth. They're going to walk you through this journey, and they're going to hold your hand, and they're going to support you in the way that you like and you need. So just trust your instincts. This is your birth and your baby and your experience, and adding in a doula can be such a beautiful and wonderful support, but you want to make sure that they're the right doula for you. If you're pregnant and you feel like you need a little bit more information about birth to really feel empowered and ready, go ahead and check out the birth basics kickstart mini course. It's a totally free course that I've created. It's going to start you off on the really solid foundation so that you know exactly what you need to do to rock your birth experience. The link to that course is in the show notes below. Sending you so much love, so much blessings. Bye for now.
